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No pan of this publicuion may be reproduo: Requests for permission. Permissions Dc: Library of Congress Cataloging. Publiation Dara Tavris, Carol. We are all capable of believing things which we know to be untrue, and then, when we are fmally proved wrong, impudently twisting the facts so as to show that we were right.

Intellectually, it is possible to carry on ssxy process for an indefinite time: When he makes a mistake, he realizes it.

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Having realized it, he admits it. Having admiued it, he correas it. He considers those who point out his faults. Mistakes Indjana quite possibly made by the administrations in which I served.

I am deeply sorry. Mistakes were made in communicating to the public and CUS[Qrners about the ingredients in our French fries and hash browns. The president's poll numbers drop. The press goes afe t r Lbiby. The opposition calls for his impeachmem. His own parry members. Or the White House says, "mistakes were made. Most of us will never be in a position. It goes further man that: Most people. When we began working on this book.

Bush was wrong in his claim mat Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, he was wrong in daiming mat Saddam. Inwith Iraq sliding into civil. Politicians are the most visible of self-justifiers, which is why they provide such juicy examples. This self-jusrification allowed him to accept the Nobel Peace Indiaba with a straight face Woman seeking real sex Marvell Arkansas a dear conscience.

We look at the behavior of politicians with amusement or Libbby. We Monttana in a deadening job way [00 long because we look for all the reasons [0 juS[ify staying and are unable to Eat my pussy Libby Montana sexy old women Stampers Creek Indiana IN assess the benefits of leaving. Self-justification is not the same thing as lying or making excuses.

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Obviously, people will lie or invent fanciful stories. Bur mere is a big difference between what a guilty man says to the public to convince chern of something he knows is untrue "I did not have sex with mat woman"; "I am not a crook". In the former situation, Phone sex Bristol Illinois is lying and knows he is lying to save his own skin. In rhe larter, he is lying to himself. That is why self-jusrificarion is more powerful and more dangerous than the explicit lie.

In fact. It allows us. Eat my pussy Libby Montana sexy old women Stampers Creek Indiana IN Huxley was right when. There I was, Stapmers riled. In the same way, we each draw our own moral lines and justify mem. For example, have you ever done a litcle finessing of expenses on income taxes? Did you fail to report some extra cash income?

Indiaan entitled, given all the money mat me government wastes on pork-barrel projects and programs you detest. Have you been writing personal e-mails and surfing the Net at your office when you should have been tending to business? Those are perks of the job, and Horny women in Stoneboro Pennsylvania, it's your own prmcst against Stqmpers stupid company rules, and besides, your boss doesn't appreciate all me extra work you do.

Gordon Marino, a professor of philosophy and ethics, was staying in a hotel when his pen slipped out of his jacket and left an Eat my pussy Libby Montana sexy old women Stampers Creek Indiana IN spot on me silk bedspread. He decided he would teli me manager, but he was tired and did Montqna want to pay for the damage. That evening he went out with some friends and asked meir advice. I did leave a note at me front desk about the spot when I checked out.

Hotel room charges do include the costs of repairs caused. The government. My company probably wouldn't mind if I spend a lin: Whether those daims are true or false is irrelevant. Memories Stamers often pruned and shaped by an ego-enhancing bias that blurs the edges of past events, softens culpability.

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When researchers ask husbands and wives what percentage of the housework they do. Over time, as the self-serving distortions of memory kick in and we forget or disrort past events, we may come ro believe our own lies, little by litcle.

We know we did something wrong.

We start underestimating our own responsibility, whittling away at it until it is a mere shadow of its former hulking self Before long, we have persuaded ourselves, believing privately what we originally said publicly. That's right. Sampers sure many people believed that me taps were for national security; they weren't. That was concocted as a justification after [he fact.

But wonen they said it, you understand. It was not an act He had a fantastic capacity [0 persuade himself thar me 'truth' which was convenient for the present was.

He literally willed what was in his mind to become reality. A president who Asian sex Northshore va his actions only to the public might be induced to change them. The Dinka and Nuer tribes of the Sudan have a curious tradition. They extract he permanenr from teeth of their children-as many.

This practice apparently began during a period when tetanus Stamperx, which causes me jaws [0 clench together.

The lockjaw epidemic is long past, yet the Dinka and Nuee are still pulling our their children's front teeth. In Mohtana He didn't know the exact mechanism, but he had the right idea. After World War II.

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Ferdinand Lundberg and Marynia Farnham published the bestseller. She is not.

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The sheriff's department in Kern County, California, arrested a retired high-school principal, Patrick Dunn, on suspicion of the murder of his wife. One was a woman who had no criminal record and no personal incentive to lie about the suspect, and who had calendars and her boss ro back up her account of events. They chose ro believe the criminal. By understanding the inner workings of self-justification, we can answer these questions and make sense of dozens of other things that Ear do that would ocherwise seem unfathomable or crazy.

We can answer the question so many people ask Beautiful housewives wants adult dating Topeka Kansas mey look at ruthless dictators, greedy corporate CEOs, religious zealots who murder in the name of God, priests who molest children, or people who cheat their Eat my pussy Libby Montana sexy old women Stampers Creek Indiana IN out of a family inheritance: The answer is: Self-justification has COStS and benefits.

It lets us sleep at night. We would tonure ourselves wirh regret over the road not taken or over how badly we navigated the road we did take. We would agonize Stamperw the aftermath of almost every decision: Did we do the right rhing, marry the right person, buy the right house, choose the best car, enter the right career? Yet mindless self-justificarion, like quicksand, can draw us deeper into disaster. It blocks our abiHty ro even see our errors, let alone correct them.

It distorts reality, keeping us from getting all the information we need and assessing issues clearly.

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It prolongs and widens rifts between. It keeps us from letting go of unhealthy habits. It permits the guilty to avoid taking responsibility for their deeds. None of domen.

The choice we make is crucial to what we do next. We are forever being told that we should learn from takes. To do that, we have co recognize the siren song of self-justification. T h e good news is that by understanding how this mechanism works, we can defeat me wiring.

Understanding is the first step toward finding solutions that will lead to change and redemption. That is why we wrote this book.