And if so, what does she look like?
To answer the first question: One woman admitted to pursuing uninterested men in the hope that it would somehow cut through. Another woman said she spent years angry about not getting to shag her favorite celeb, Tom Hiddleston.
Some Nice Girls will risk excruciating embarrassment to pathetically confess their love. Fortunately, I believe self-directed public humiliation counts as time served. But she tries to flirt anyway, and feels awful.
What made me a nice girl is I thought I was a catch because of those things. I basically was just really entitled and felt superior.
Notice anything about all the stories above? They have one important thing in common.
Of course, these women are telling their own versions of the stories. They may be unreliable narrators. Women can be daft, shitty, persistent, shallow, grabby and awful, ddo.
Anyone can internalize the often toxic idea that romance is some kind of waiting game: Women are not above this! Generally, the Nice Girl is really the girl next door gone wrong. She might not be a hatee or make your heart or loins race, but she really loves you.
But even that is a limiting trope. Nice Girls are still full people, and like anyone who feels they missed out on the romance everyone else is enjoying, she might get shitty and angry and feel that her goodness has not been rewarded with a good mate.
Nice girls need love too! For many women, the Nice Guy often becomes their worst nightmare, whereas the Nice Girl equivalent is more often a nuisance, the kind that can be swatted away like a pest.
To paraphrase T. Eliot, the Nice Girl is far more likely to go out with a whimper and not a bang.
I wanted it to pay off. I wanted them to turn around and realize they loved me someday, just like nice guys dream. Trust me, Nice Girls can turn into real women, as long as they accept that this is not the way to make a relationship go.
Nice Guys would do well to follow suit, and realize that real men can take rejectiontoo. Tracy Moore is a staff writer at MEL. Formerly at Jezebel.